source: https://debliu.substack.com/p/the-60-60-relationship
takeaways
- goal, focus = collective happiness, make everyone’s lives easier
- how:
- mindset:
- give more than you take, but focus on gratitude w/ what you receive
- ownership from both ppl = planning + execution ≠ manager-employee dynamics
- actions:
- early, clear, efficient split of tasks + possible re-negotiation
- ownership from both ppl = planning + execution w/ diligence
“How to build a lasting partnership by giving more than you take”
instead of 50-50 relationship
“The idea was that if each partner gave more than 50 percent, then both would feel like they were getting the better end of the bargain.”
in other words
give more than you take, and it’ll be fine
the key to making 60% work
- dynamics: compromise, balance
- mindset: no complaint when genuine effort is applied by others
- focus = collective happiness >> personal individual satisfaction and desire
how comparative advantage makes a huge difference
- negotiate + agree on the split of tasks based on what one is better / more comfortable owning
- goal = make everyone’s life easier = collaborative + efficient + happy
- deliberate, intentional, considerate, pro-active which encompasses both PLANNING and EXECUTION
- “if only they told me what to do!”… to avoid
- reality = 2 components = PLANNING AND EXECUTION
- “invisible” = mental load / labor (the whole planning, preparation, management, logistics)
- + “visible” action (the execution)
building a true partnership
partnership ≠ manager-employee relationship
i.e. someone tells you what needs to get done
partnership = you both figure it out + execute
concretely:
- avoid bean counting: ie do not keep scores as this can lead to resentment
- instead, commit to make good-faith effort to make everyone’s lives easier
- set the rules of engagement: conscious renegotiation = agree on ownership early + carry on w/ accountability and diligence
- do not take each other for granted: be aware that it’s human nature to have a bias for what you do vs. others do (you tend to value your efforts more than others)
- tips: focus on what you receive, not what you give ⇒ gratitude